If I could go back in time, I would go back to the late winter/early Spring 2010. Not because it was a particularly great time of my life. On the contrary, it was one of the worst times of my life. I had a terrible roommate who was verbally abusive, my dog had just died, and I wanted nothing more than to get home to my family.
Despite all of this, I'd made the decision to take charge of my health. I didn't have anything that was truly mine at the time. On New Year's Day, while nursing a massive headache, and watching Avatar in 3D at the big Columbia movie Theatre (I really learned to love going to the movies by myself at that time), I got an online membership to Weight Watchers, started making online friends, and tracked absolutely everything that went into my mouth. I was determined to become the healthy, athletic person I knew I could be.
I lost twenty pounds in that first month. I remember shopping online for new pair of jeans, as all my jeans were falling off, and I got a size smaller than I thought I'd need, only for them to arrive three days later, and they were too big! That was the best feeling ever! It was something I had to hang onto whenever my roommate belittled my victories, tempted me with pastries, and did all she could to sabotage me.
After I was able to move home, I found a job waitressing, and the weight continued to fall off, because I was running around all over the place. The lowest weight I remember getting down to was 238, and I worked really really hard to get to that point.
It's been five years, I've gained everything back, and then some. It's quite discouraging to see myself in those old pictures, because of how far I've backtracked. I'm probably going to need to do something different and crazy in order to break through the ten pound barrier.
I've been lifting a lot more consistently, which might attribute to the total weight gain, but I can also see that I'm being lazy about my food choices. I know that Protein/Carb/Veggie is the best combination for me to lose weight. Why can't I get to that point? Why is it so difficult for me to plan accordingly?
Last night, I went to the gym, and went for a run (Or, what I consider a run). It felt good. I had tons of extra energy before, and I was feeling anxious. Running helped me to push that energy away to something useful. I'm planning to go back to the gym this morning, too, hopefully to keep my extra energy far away.
Problem lies when I'm too wiped out after work to do anything. I usually have more energy for stuff like working out when I eat well. Go figure.
Eating well and working out go hand in hand. If you want to succeed at working out, you need to fuel your body. If you want to amp up the effects of eating well, you need to work out. Simple as that.
If only I could convince myself of this fact enough for me to keep it up. It's a struggle, but if it wasn't, it wouldn't be worth it.